justiniavoorhart at hotmail.com
Thu Nov 2 19:20:50 CET 2006
The Federal Bureau of Miscellaneous Information (F.B.M.I) brings to you your
Bang your head to the rock and roll sounds of Morningwood as they perform
the song "Easy" from their self-titled debut CD.
Letterman and music maister Paul Schaffer F.B.M.I. Every 46seconds someone
is scalded at Starbucks. Thanks to a Japanese science now developed robot
that takes one to Tango. Al Walker doenst care what its like in your neck of
the woods. Like everything in life there are warning signs. David Lettermans
Top ten list. Top Ten Things I Have Learned From "Dancing With The Stars"
presented by Jerry Springer
10. Sometimes your best choreographer is Johnny Walker
9. There are no disputes that can't be settled by dancing -- think about it
8. The fitness training will come in handy on my show when breaking up
fights between hookers
7. I'm allergic to sequins
6. You do much better if you take the vitamins supplied by Barry Bonds'
5. The definition of "star" has really loosened up
4. This might be why the terrorists hate us
3. I have a whole new respect for the exotic dancers on my show
2. If there's one thing more exciting than being on "Dancing With The
Stars," it's no longer being on "Dancing With The Stars"
1. I need a new agent
Top Ten Signs You're Watching A Bad Mafia Movie
10. Takes place on the mean streets of Appleton, Wisconsin
9. The fake blood is clearly Yoo-Hoo
8. Someone is given an offer he has the option of refusing
7. Directed by Martin Scorsese...'s brother Larry
6. When mobsters try to dump body in Jersey, they sit in traffic at the
tunnel for 90 minutes
5. Instead of horse's head, informant wakes up with a delicious chocolate on
4. Punishment for snitching: No X-Box for a week
3. Boss keeps using the catchphrase, "Don't Hassel the Hoff"
2. Feds use wiretap to get famous vegetarian lasagna recipe
1. Only whacking is done by Mark Foley
too strong, so dont believe, no means dont means dont. 2 lowd Across
road, the $1million expense to out her ass meant.the day. Mao
empiricalmrei and conspiro then satirical.mre
Frightened cat shrunk around the car tyres but the cars sped off.
You have to understand, most of these people are not ready to be
unplugged.some forlife And many of them are so inured, so hopelessly
dependent on the system, that they will fight to protect it.heard the
tapeThe tapeworm gave him a fat belly and he had take a pill. He chose the
blue... ironically the colour,
his toes stuck out beyond his sole. Too
embarrassing for all. Cajole Cajun spices he said and passed over the
portugese chicken recipe book. This, he said is the recipe for Namblas
chicken. I tried, but words came out obscured by the scrumpled paper in my
mouth, I choked on it. When I came to
and this Top Ten is a corker!
Top Ten Signs Your Bought A Bad Computer
10. Runs on 200 "D" batteries
9. In the morning you have to defrost it
8. Runs on Windows '78
7. Box reads "Pre-loaded with hundreds of viruses!"
6. Tech support number is a Silicon Valley Applebee's
5. For better internet reception, salesman includes pair of rabbit ears
4. You move the pointer around by licking the screen
3. It's made by IBN
2. The mouse bit you
1. When you tell it to print, it tells you to go screw yourself
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